A sentimental journey

About a year ago I flew to Bergen via Dubrovnik. That is the sunset I photographed while landing in Dubrovnik (no sunsets in Bergen in late October, rain as always). Anyway it was too late for a sunset. I had this fantastic idea I was going to visit Odd, whom I had married the month before. So I turned up at my boss's office and asked for days off (every time I have to ask people for favours, loans, anything, I feel like I'd rather not be there - it's not me asking, it's just those terrible circumstances that are totally beyond my control). So I got leave on Tuesday, and was on the plane on Saturday, to spend a precious week with my husband.
A year later, I'm still here in my hometown in Croatia as Norwegian immigration laws don't allow people from outside EU to live with their spouses until being granted the residence permit. And mine still hasn't been granted. We've been married for 13 months.
We're still travelling both ways, and we have no home we call our own. He stays with me here or I stay with him there.
There are days when I don't have doubts about what's to come. On other days like today I am apprehensive, having second thoughts about moving to a country which has a law that says newlyweds are not allowed to live together for some time (at least not there).
But there must be some higher purpose in that. It's just me, complaining about the horrible circumstances which are forever messing my life.
I don't like myself complaining - what's the use? Like I'm letting some officials actually create where I live? Never.

Beauty everywhere

World is beautiful today - can't put my finger on what exactly it is. Well, it's Friday, I mustn't forget the weekend has officially started. I keep playing Verden er Vakker (World is beautiful) by Bjørn Eidsvåg from
last fm
Can't get enough of his voice, and the poetry of the lyrics touches me deeply inside. Norwegian has become such a magical language for me now. It's been so long since I was learning English and developed a passion for it. I thought it was to be once in a lifetime passion, but what did I know then, at 17? I couldn't know I was going to fall in love with a Norwegian and eventually, with his language.
Autumn used to be depressing when I was younger. Not anymore. Now I drink the beauty of the last warm days and the last of the sunshine to the fullest.
I gave up my part time job at university and can't say I'm sorry. Now there are more days when I just take things easy like today. I miss the students sometimes, I met so many brilliant young people there.
It is a beautiful world I live in and I am grateful for all the small things that surround me. And also for the people around me. I'm blessed to have a wonderful daughter. And a husband. I grew up thinking the only people who should always be there for you are your parents. And I still like to think so, and would like my daughter to grow up knowing I'll always be there for her. Wherever she goes or for how long, I hope she always comes back to me. I hope I'll pass no judgments upon her.
I hope there will be many days like this. I love you all, Nera, Odd, mum, dad, gran, my dearest friends, all you little birds eating seeds on my balcony on cold mornings...

Longing for the past

Tveitevannet
Originally uploaded by Biggo

I am a melancholic person. That is probably why I still go back to this place in my mind. I don't live there anymore, and still the place goes on having a life of its own within my mind.
I used to live quite near this place in Bergen 3 years ago. Went on long walks almost daily, feeding the ducks, getting wet since it is always raining in Bergen. Got bitten by a duck disappointed (angry?) there was no more bread to give out.
I think I was happy there.
Sometimes I wonder if this revisiting of the places that belong to the past removes me from the present. Is it life lived to the fullest, or just longing for some other time? And is there always life somewhere else for me, some other place? Do I, besides what is good look for more, not knowing the good thing in my life?
It would never occur to me to blog a picture from what surrounds me, from the now. In the longing to live my life behind me, I either long for the past or wait for the future which is yet to come.