Waiting

On Oslo - Bergen train
Originally uploaded by Agnes Dorotea

I sit here in my living room and wait. Somehow this is how I feel - in a kind of a limbo. The photograph taken by Nera, my lovely daughter, a year ago from the train stands for the beauty of the place where I'm going. These are the last months of my life that I spend in the country where I was born. I admit I fought this idea of moving to Norway - after living and studying there and realizing that my new relationship was going to take me there, but eventually I grew to like the idea.
Now it is like I am no longer here, and not yet there. The sunny autumn days pass by, my mind is not here, I already live another life which hasn't started yet. I visualise the rooms where I am going to spend the days, the sea I'll be looking at, go on walks in my mind to places I haven't been to yet.

Beauty anyhow

"She had gone up into the tower alone and left them blackberrying in the sun"...
comes from Virginia Woolf's Mrs. Dalloway. I've spent a whole year of my life with that book, writing a thesis on it. It has grown on me. The thesis was finished more than 2 years ago, and I look for meanings and I still sometimes interpret life through Mrs. Dalloway. It could be our journey is not over yet.
I've been thinking about blackberrying in the sun intensely for the last 3 weeks since the blackberry season has just finished. My parents, my husband and I went on a small trip up the mountain and on our way down my mum and dad decided they wanted to go and pick blackberries, while we stayed behind and simply sat in the shade. Then it came to me that we have literally left them blackberrying in the sun. I kept repeating the line to Odd, my husband, and it sounded silly.
But blackberrying in the sun seems to be an image carrying the idea of drinking life to its fullest. Still, some of us choose to sit in the shade. Or go up the tower alone.